You need to read Hillary's comment on Shannah's post yesterday, because it is so true and I agree with it completely. Also, remember what Bella told Jacob in "New Moon" when they were pointing out that Jacob is younger than Bella. Bella told him that in maturity years, she's like 12 years older. It would be the same with Jamie, you'd be way too mature for him. Ian would be if not as mature as us, then more mature.
Even though Ian did want to kill Wanda, he had sympathy. He changed himself for her, what can be better than that? She changed him by being herself. And about Aly seeing only his outside appearance, she was just stating one of his many good qualities. He has many more that are inside of him (like his loving nature for Wanda no matter what body she's in) that are just as beautiful as his eyes.
Anyway, that's my opinion.